So, you know how the guard spends the first week of band camp inside? Well, as many may or may not already know, I tend to learn things the "hard way". The Thursday of the first week of band camp, Miss Sharon told us that we needed to drink water the night before or we'd get sick, because we were going outside the next day. Well, me being, well, me, hah, didn't drink one single glass, because I'm hard-headed. The next day, I had to run two laps, and it totally sucked, but I got all dizzy like I was about to pass out, and I couldn't breathe, heh heh. Well, we started doing our flagwork, and just standing there holding the flag, I was wobbling and was like ahhh! I'm gonna pass out. lol. Well, I started to gag, and I threw up. I think it was Brandi, but someone said "DON'T PUKE ON THE FLAG!!" hahahaha. I took like 5 steps, and gagged some more, and I saw Carl and he was like "ewww, she's chucking it!!" I took a breath, told him to shut up, then I puked some more.. And Miss Christina was trying to be mean and stuff, and told Carl to be quiet, but it didn't work.. So I went to the bathroom and got something to drink, because NO ONE likes the taste of vomit in your mouth. When I came back Kacey was picking on me about it. She was like "What'd you eat for breakfast?" and I was like "an apple" and she stood over it like.. I dunno, studying it, and she was looked up with this big grin like "It looks like watermelon." lol. And she picked on me the rest of the day about it... And it's just a joke between me and the rest of the guard now... Good times.

Ok. I think this is one of my favorites, because it involves Carli and stuff. Ok, for Shrimp and Petroleum Festival, me, Carli, Alesha, and Nick all went together... So, we got preoccupied with the seawall, and we ended up being at the seawall for like 2 hours. Me and Carli are crazy together, so yeah, you bet we found ways to occupy ourselves. So, we're being stupid, and Carli shouts to this big group of guys from our school "Have YOU got gonads?!" And it was HILARIOUS! Well, me, Carli, and Alesha, found the humor, but Nick definitely didn't find it humorus.. So whatever. So, then this old dude, who I'm pretty sure was drunk, came down the street on his bike. and I was like, oh, this will be fun. So, I was like hello. and he was like hi. And I was like Do you have gonads? and he was like What are gonads? and I was like I dunno, have you got 'em? So, he's like "I dunno, have you got tampax?" and I was like.. well... Not with me. (I'm quite the outspoken one, for those of you who don't know..) =P So he's like Do I LOOK like I got gonads?! And me, being the smart alleck I am, was like I HOPE you do. ((hahahaha)) So, he's like "Well, I hope you go to hell." and rode off. hahahaha. That was definitely the highlight of my Shrimp and Petroleum weekend.... In the words of Larry the Cable Guy "I don't care who you are, that's funny right there."

So, this all happened at like, the beginning of the year... heh. Micah decided he's going to be a white rapper, and he's gonna be "Skittle" (get it, Eminem, Skittle, oh yeah, both white rappers.) and he's gonna be like "TASTE MY RAINBOW BYOOOOTCH! lmao. Yeah, the guard had to stay after school til 5 this particular day... Just like every guard practice. So, me, Alesha, and Sam were as goofy as can be. I'm serious, we were laughing at everything. Me and Sam had to go to the bathroom, so, Sam starts laughing in the bathroom. and I was like wtf, mate?! When we got a break at 2:30, she told me and Alesha that she lifted her leg up to see if it would make her stop peeing, and it didn't, so she started laughing. It's not funny unless you were there.. heh. And they have these big double doors seperating the band hall from the rest of the school, and Sam opened them and pretended she was Moses or something psycho like that, so we all start laughing hysterically. So, We were walking to the front of the school laughing and random things, and we wemt to the snack machines. Well, Alesha's dollar was all crinkled and stuff, and I found that so funny. There were like 3 people behind us, and they got all fed up and stuff, and just left. And everyone in the school was looking at us like we were retarded or something because the way I laugh, I cackle, so I tend to attract a lot of attention, and everyone was like wtf? weirdos. But I don't care.. So, Sam was laughing, and she did this snort thing, and it was so funny, so I snorted, and Alesha and Sam laughed even harder. lmao. So, when we finally left, we were going down the hall laughing really loud, and alesha is *with pinky fingers in weird voice* "hyperactive". lol. And we were going down the hall, and Sarah looks at us like we're retarded or something for laughing so loud and stuff. We got back to the guard room, laughing so hard and loud, and I fell from laughing so hard, so I was literally "rofflamayoing" hahaha. Ms. Sharon was telling me that I cackle.. hahaha. But anyways, we just kept laughing at the randomest things. Kacey was laughing at the way I was laughing. But anyways, we somehow got on the topic of foreign languages, and Kacey said she wanted to learn russian because no one knows it, or something like that, and I was like well, except russian people, so Sam started laughing again, so did Alesha, and so did I. I think that was my favorite guard practice of the season.. I mean, seriously, who else could go down the hall bare-footed, in our guard practice clothes, and be laughing like a bunch of idiots but me, sam, and alesha that goes to BHS? I really don't think anyone. heh

Ok. I was outside practicing, and Kim came over.. So I decide that I'm gonna talk to her, cuz, at that particular time, I was always wrapped up in something else, so, naturally, me and Kim really didn't talk that much, but that's not a problem anymore, since I practically live at Kim's house... So, anyways, We're just being random and stuff, so yeah.. Well, she is looking in my yard and what looks like and empty mayonnaise pack (**gasp**). But it wasn't. So my sister goes inside, and she gets my pack of mayonnaise (if you don't know the joke, ask me about it later) So, her and Kim are playing keep away WITH MY BELOVED MAYONNAISE PACK! So then they drop it, and I'm like HOORAH! and I run and grap it and hide it in my house from them. SO THEY TAKE MY FLAG! Well, I'm like singing to the rhythm of Last Kiss by Pearl Jam "Oh where oh where can my flaggie be, Kimmy took it away from meeee!" And I'm looking around my backyard, so then I turn around and I see Aunt Laura's van, so then I'm like OH LOOK! FEET!! Then I start chasing Kim around the van, she throws the flag to Kristy, and Kristy takes off down the street. Well.. She throws the flag to Kim, and I can't find Kim... CUZ SHE GOES THE OTHER WAY! So I go the opposite way, like, around this alley thing, expecting to meet up with her, well, her and Kristy are no where to be found.. So Aunt Laura, Uncle Steve, Kourtney and them were looking for Kim! So then they come ask me if I've seen her. I'm like NO! Frickin, she has my flag! Well, they finally find the flag theives like all by shannon and crap. So, my sister wants to say that some old dude took my flag, went around the block, then gave it back, then Aunt Laura found them. AND KIM'S ALL LIKE "yep, that's exactly what happened!" and I'm like yeahhhhh. Good times.

Ok, Sadie shopping. This was me, Kim, Aunt, and Amanda..
Okay, we get to Wal Mart, and guess who we see. Justin Clark. The whole reason we were there was because Kim had an eye doctor appointment and stuff, so me and Amanda decide that we're gonna go stalk Clark. Cuz yeah, drummers are fun to stalk. Well, in the process, we get preoccupied down the toy aisle. haha. I found this ghetto toy dinosaur, so I made a big rawr noise and I threw it Amanda.. We went to the music part of Wal Mart and stuff, and there's Clark. So, he's like running away from us, and me and Amanda are laughing our butts off. So, he goes down the aisle and I throw the dinosaur at him, and it misses him, but slides like 50 feet after that. And I'm like laughing so hard. Then we see him run to the jewelery, so me and Amanda split up, and I'm running.. and my shoes are like platform flip flop things, so I'm running, and I trip, and I run into this shelf. lmao. But then we lose him. So that sucked. So we go back to the CD's and stuff, and he's there, but he's no longer fun to stalk, so we go find other things to do.. and, We end up in front of the eye doctor place. So we're playing with that big ball thingie that gets all big and then you drop it and it gets small. If you saw it, you'd know what I was talking about. So, we're playing with it, and some service lady is telling us everything and what not, and she has this soccer ball thingie, and she lets us play with it, and that rocked. Then I was talking to Amanda and Kim about going to the other side of the store, cawing, and seeing if they could hear me. Well, the caw was all screwed up, so they didn't hear it. So then we go play around in the games.. AND WE SEE THIS MEGA HOT DUDE WITH BLUE HAIR!! He was awesome. So we decide that we're gonna follow him. lmao. So, me, amanda, and kim are TRYING to be sneaky, and it's seriously like the funniest thing ever.. Because seriously, I'm SO spastic, so naturally, I'm too spastic to be sneaky!! So, we're running through the underwear and crap, and he turns at sporting goods.. and we're all laughing. So, we run and pretend to be looking at golf clubs or something. lmao. Then we run to the tennis rackets.. and we're like OH DUDE! PINK BALLS! hahaha. So then the dude goes somewhere else, so we are pretending to look at fishing lures. and he is going towards electronics, so we run into the aisle and "look" at DVD's. haha. Then he goes off somewhere else, and we're still there. haha. it was great. Then Aunt Laura sees us, and she's like "OH! There yall are!" So, WE LOST HIM! *tear* haha. Actually, no, it's alright. So then Amanda has to pee, and it stunk so bad in the bathroom, so me and Kim left her to go find the blue-haired dude. But we can't find him, so that sucked. So, we found a chair. Kim got the chair, and I got a shelf. haha. We sat there like 5 minutes. Then we're like "OH! LOOK! Halloween costumes!" and we totally find these 2 hats that'd be awesome for Sadie since the theme for Sadie was Sadie Goes to the Wild West. Well, the hats we found were these big ghetto deputy hats. Like that dude from Loony Tunes wears. The one with the red hair.. haha. Well, yeah, like that. So, they only have 2.. So we find Aunt Laura, and I hear Amanda laughing because me and Kim are wearing the ghetto hats. And we're like "Oh, we found our hats for Sadie. But they only had 2" So we went back to the Halloween aisle (er, what was left of it =P) So, we're looking for hats that have 3.. So, we find these ghetto gangster hats.. Well, we get down the aisle, and I look up, and dude, oh em gee. GUESS WHAT I FIND!!! I see another of the ghetto deputy hats!! And I'm like going all spastic and crap like OH MY GOSH!! *gasppppp* ANOTHER HAT!#$@!!$$@!!" haha. So, Aunt Laura, Amanda, Kim, and everyone are laughing at me.. But we got our hats. They were awesome!! So then we go to go check out and stuff. So we're all putting candy and stuff on the checkout, and Aunt Laura is looking at us like we're psycho and we're like WHAT?!? and she's all "I'm just watching as my line gets bigger and bigger" and Kim busts out with "Oh, you want us to add more?!" So I laugh, and I put an entire box of candy on the checkout thingie.. And we were all laughing, but then Aunt Laura gave me the evil eye, but it was greatness.So, then we get back to Kim's, and Dustin laughs at our hats and crap. So, he puts one on, and he pulls the hat down over his entire face, and IT GETS STUCK ON HIS HEAD!!! It was greatness. And yeah, me and Amanda ended up spending the rest of the day at Kim's. That is an example of a typical day with me and Kim.. Amanda just so happened to have been there with us.

A couple weekends ago, me, Amanda, Kim, and Aunt Laura went shopping in Lafayette for Sadie. Well, me and Amanda slept at Kim's house the night before, because it was just easier that way. So, I was already getting hyper and stuff, because pixie sticks do that to me. heh. Well anyways, Aunt Laura let us sit on the floorboards on the way there, so I was happy. So, we get to Lafayette, and we just walk around the mall and stuff. We were going to go home and stuff, so then we go to Raisin' Canes.. Well, then Ms. Linda calls, so Aunt Laura and Ms. Linda are on the phone and stuff. Ok. I was in the seat, and Kim and Amanda were on the floorboard. Well, they were leaning into me, and I was leaning into them because I was telling them something I didn't want Kourtney to hear. So, then all of a sudden, it was like this big bump kind of thing and we were all like AHHHH! So, Aunt Laura hit the curb, and we had a big blowout. And keep in mind, Ms. Linda just got into a car wreck, so I'm pretty sure she was freaking out when Aunt Laura hung up on her, and we were all screaming... heh. So then Aunt Laura put the spare on, and me and Kim were talking on the phone with Chelsea and stuff. and yeah.. So, we had to ride home at 50 MPH and the speed limit is 70, so it was a pretty slow ride home. But me and Amanda sung to each other. It was great. So, we get back to Berwick, and we go to Jasmine's birthday party. Me, Amanda, and Kim were all around the fire and stuff, and we're roasting (err, more like burning) marshmallows.. heh heh. So, we were all being stupid and stuff, so then Amanda leaves around nine, so me and Kim find ways to occupy ourselves. So, we are listening to the stereo and stuff. Well, the song "My Heart Will Go On" Came on. So we're doing interpretive dance.. oh my gosh. It was greatness. Well, then we leave around midnight and I come home smelling like smoke and stuff.

hahaha. I seriously think that this is the GREATEST thing ever. Ok, 2 days before Thanksgiving, I'm on the phone with Peter (woot, cell phone!!!), when Carli beeps in... And yeah, me, Carli, and Peter are the three musketeers, so, naturally, I tell Peter "Oh, hold on, Carli's beeping in." So, I'm like "yo" and Carli's like "DUDE! Guess what me, Marcus, and Bree found in my backyard!!" and I'm like "what?!!" So, she's all like "Ok, you know how next to the swing in my backyard, there's this top to my dad's other truck?" and I'm like "yeah" and Carli's like "You will never guess what we found underneath it!!!" and I'm all like "NOPE!! what?!" and it was definitely the most unexpected thing ever.. FRICKIN!!! She was like "WE FOUND A HOBO!!" and I'm like oh. my. god. And I'm like frickin cracking up!!! and, yeah, so, there was like this cushion thing that was in Carli's backyard and it was lined with the hobo's clothes and he had 2 cans of tuna. So, the day before Thanksgiving, me and Kim decided that we were gonna go to Carli's.... WE WANTED TO SEE THE HOBO!! Well, the hobo wasn't there... So, we left him a ghetto Christmas tree, which was like this ghetto branch thing that was in Kim's backyard. It was so funny. If and when I can get pictures, I will totally put them up here. And I also nicknamed Kim "Hobo Goe (Jo)" We had to spell Joe weird. Why? Because we're Gert and Kim. We just do stupid things like that.

Ok, this is great, too. The other day, me and Peter were at the park.. So, we were bored, so we went to the sea wall, and we were like standing on the pier. Well, I stood up, shouted "I'm queen of the world!!", lost my footing, and I almost fell in the river. TYPICAL ME!! haha. So, then we went to the actual sea wall, and sat there for like 5 minutes. Well, Peter stood on top of the actual wall, and he was joking around and goes "I'M GONNA JUMP!!" It was so funny. Then we decided to walk to my gramma's from there. Well, we were outside waiting for his sister to come pick him up, and I was bored, so I decided to go run down the street like an idiot and be all like "AHHHHHHHH!" It was fun. Some little kids were all like "Run Forest." And I was like "Sorry, hun, do I look like Forest?!" Well, like 10 minutes later, I was sitting on the corner (oh the irony), and this little kid, like, maybe 3 years old, comes up to me and askes me if I want some hot chips. So, he just kind of passed me up, and asked Peter. Well, hahaha, it was so great... The little boy askes Peter if he wants some hot cheeto things or something, and Peter is all like "No, I don't eat hot chips." So the little boy is like "you a bitch!" and he said it so cute.. hahaha. Cuz, I mean, he's THREE! So, me and Peter are cracking up. So then the little kid tells his older brother (maybe 8 or 9?) You a bitch, too! And me and Peter are killin' it! So, he walks back across the street, and he tells his brother 'Fuck you, you bitch.' and it's so funny. And his sister, who's like probably 11 or so is like "What'd I tell you about cursing?!" And I was like "DON'T GET CAUGHT!" And the little boy looks at the girl and he's like "You a bitch, too!!" It was SOO funny. Good times!!!

Ok, as promised, I got the FUNNIEST story ever.. It was sooo great. Ok, me, Alesha, and Katie were at my house, being stupid. Well, some mormons were riding their bikes down the street, and they try to go to Kim's house, but Kim's not home, so they turn around and go back the other way.. So, we decide that we're gonna chase them, because we're retarded... So, we're all running down the sidewalk, well, my neighbor has the STUPID dogs that never stop barking. So, me and Alesha are running all behind Katie, and we're laughing our heads off, and we're all like OH MY GOSH! I CAN'T RUN!! I'M LAUGHING TOO HARD! And Alesha is like RAWWWR! and my neighbors are idiots making a huge scene and crap like "GET YA BUTTS HOME AND LEAVE THE DOGS ALONE!!!" And so, I run the other way, Alesha's pushing Katie, Katie's pushing me, and guess what! I fall. No surprise. Well, we are all laughing. Well, my neighbor is all like "I'm filing charges, the police are on their way." I'm like wtf? Charges?! FOR WHAT?!? But anyways, we were all cracking up until the police came... Well, my neighbor wanted to press charges because it was a "non-ending antagonizing of the dogs".. I should press charges because I'm sexually harassed by the dogs. :D But anyways, as it turns out, we were technically "disturbing the peace" (((NO!! IT WAS THE DOGS!!))) And we could've been arrested... Why we weren't, I do not know.. But that would be hilariously not-cool at the same time... hahaha. Well, we weren't arrested, and in the end, nothing happened... that I know of, yet. heh heh.